Better Build It Higher

So there is a lot of talk of a border fence. To keep the Mexicans...I'm sorry, the "illegal immigrants" out. Apparently the Republican debate the other night on Fox featured these so-called candidates falling all over each other to build a fence. To keep out those Mexicans.

Obviously, this is not a "homeland" security issue otherwise we'd be building a wall in the north too. Maybe we could just build a bridge from Mexico to Canada, like a wildlife crossing, and the Mexicans would go take Canadian jobs.

The jobs are often described as "jobs that Americans won't do". Sure, these are menial, labor-intensive jobs but not jobs Americans won't do. Who did these jobs before Jose came across the border? No, these are jobs few Americans would do for five dollars an hour.

Before we get all high and mighty and feeling superior, we should consider that we are a nation of immigrants. We stole this land from the Indians. Maybe the Mexicans will steal it from us and build pyramids. That would be cool. Or maybe, their hard work would make America better. We need these hungry people. The rest of us are too fat, happy and entitled.

Borders are just lines on a map. Generally arbitrary. How much money are we going to waste on building a fence on ours? And don't we think that maybe the Mexicans have a ladder? They could lay on top of one another as a human ladder. Did we consider that? We are going to have to build that wall at least two families high. That's like 30 ft.

Truth is, a lot of Americans don't like Mexicans. The reality is we can't bus them all home. We can't build a fence that will keep them out. We can't stop them from multiplying. Maybe we should focus instead on teaching them English. That way "The Skeptic" could communicate to them to stop running over the sprinklers.